Fears

I am absolutely beyond terrified of being old. Every day I am so grateful that I am young and whole, and I can run and jump and swim. There is never a day that goes by that I don't feel grateful for this. At the same time, my heart stops when I just think of the possibility of becoming old and medicine-dependent. However, I think I'll age better than others. All four of my grandparents are alive, and for the most part they are up and moving. Especially my mother's parents...my Mommom is a lover of water slides. Still, I am terrified to think that one day I will be incapable of doing everything I love, and knowing that this day may be my last, and having no more fun times. This scares me more than anything.
My second greatest fear is being alone. Not like alone with my friends not talking to me, I mean like really alone. Having all my relatives or friends being dead, or too far away. Waking up every morning knowing that there is no one really who cares if I live another day. That scared me to the core.

Random thoughts?

I did absolutely nothing today. I was supposed to go to the Phillies game, but it was rained out. I spent this whole day pondering.

-I think the quote "Familiarity breed contempt" is way beyond true. This is something I could apply to my last relationship, and I am almost certain that's why we broke up.

-Speaking of relationships, I'd like to go back to my lost post. Maybe the boy and the girl are meant for each other, and in that case congratulations. After all, they were pretty good 'friends' before. But I know that one day you'll wake up and think "Wow. She did love me." And I hope that makes you smile, because I'll never smile at you again.

-I really want to run for board on Dafna. I don't think I can post a lot about that online, but.

-I hate rain

-The flyers better win

Boys Suck

I hate you. I hate you so much. Everything you said to me, everything you did, it was a lie, wasn't it? An experiment? I know you lied when you said you didn't care about her at all, because guess what sweetheart, she's your girlfriend. Do you tell her the same things you told me? Say that you love her, and will never leave her?
You're such a fake. Everything you do, every word you say, every time you wave hi and smile, it's fake. I know it is. You told me this yourself. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea why people like you because eventually they'll find out that YOU JUST DON'T CARE. And I don't either.
I've moved on, and I think about you less and less everyday. Yes, you were an important part of my life and I'll never forget you. But. I. Don't. Care. You hate me, and I hate you, so let me live my life separately from yours without giving me pissed off looks whenever our paths cross. And I never stopped believing that it was all your fault.
You told me before that if we ever broke up, you would find a way to get back together. But I never want to. You are scum. Yeah, I miss talking to you, a lot, but it would take serious talking to fix this.
I know that I won't forget you, and there will always be a piece of me that loves you and wants to talk to you and wants to find your name on my phone. But bye.

First Post?

Hi...obviously no one is reading this now. I just want to start up and say that my life is effy. I have a lot of fun, and a lot of friends, but I've done so much that I regret and wish never happened. Sometimes, I just want a place to talk, and I'll try to blog everyday about what happens with me, because yeah, my life is pretty interesting